The H1N1 Letters: My dear Coronavirus

My dear Coronavirus,

I hear you are worried about the new rule requiring masks.

Do not fear.

The humans are not smart. Some will stop wearing masks just because they don’t like being told what to do. They will not figure out that they can be pro-liberty and pro-mask.

Many of them have been confused by scientists and leaders who keep changing. One day they are mocked for wearing masks, the next day they are threatened if they do not wear them. This will make them angry.

Use this to your advantage. The more they fight against each other, the more they will forget you. I worry that masks could be devastating to you. If this is true, more masks would help all of them, regardless of what other tools they want to use against you. Thankfully, I see no indication that they have reflected upon the possibility. They will pick sides and stop considering the evidence. If you are lucky, they might even convince one another you are gone and stop wearing masks altogether.

Trust my 100 years’ experience.

Your affectionate uncle,

H1N1