‘Twas the Night of the Gusher

‘Twas the night before Christmas, And all through the Earth,

Not a rig was idled, Not even near Perth.

The tools were all hung in their places with care,

In hopes they wouldn’t be needed out there.

The day tour was nestled all snug in their beds,

While dreams of the fairer sex danced in their heads,

And the company man in his hard hat, and me chewing my cud,

Had just come inside from a look at the mud.

We had just had a DWOP, with its teamwork and tools,

With the book and the teachers — the best of rig schools!

When out on the rig floor there arose such a clatter,

We sprang from our chairs to see what was the matter!

With boots barely on we ran out our door,

Tore down the catwalk and up to the floor.

The moon rising slowly over forty foot seas,

Did not help to calm our now shaky knees

When what to our wondering eyes should appear,

But a gusher of oil, so precious and dear.

From the sight and the sound and the look and the feel,

We knew in a moment this discovery was for real!

More rapid than eagles the oil flew up high,

And reached to the fingerboard, the crown and the sky!

Not one could beat this one, it was so great,

Not Spindletop, Tengiz, West Africa or Kuwait!

To the top of the list, more prolific than most,

This was the “mother of all discoveries” — no boast!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

With crude oil above $20, and gas almost ten,

The investors screamed for joy that their well had come in.

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the helideck,

The sound of the chopper, just coming to check.

As I bent in the wind and was turning my back.

I heard the big bird sit down with a whack!

He was loaded all down with cameras and gear,

Since everyone wanted to say they ‘were here’.

A group of engineers he had carried to our rig,

And he seemed too heavy, his cargo was so big.

Their eyes how they twinkled, their dimples how merry,

Their cheeks were like roses, their noses like cherries.

Their mouths were wide open in obvious fright,

At what mother nature was showing that night.

They were chubby and plump, typical of office folk,

But they were smart and experienced and knew this was no joke.

A few nods of the head and tugs on their chin,

Convinced me they had what it took to win.

They spoke not a word but went straight to their work,

And tested their options, then turned with a jerk.

After printing the answers and giving them to our man,

With approving smiles, they summarized the plan.

At the sign of one driller, with the work by the rest,

We shut in the well…the ultimate BOP test!

And someone exclaimed as the rams closed and held tight,

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

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In all seriousness, I wish each of you a merry and meaningful Christmas!

Blessings to you and yours,

Mark S. Ramsey, P.E.